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Poster: buscameby Date: Jun 18, 2009 6:23pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

One more time the music keeps my heart from being ripped from my chest.

I lost my father this afternoon, no not lost but everywhere, "by the banks green edge he will roll roll".

Even after years of working with hospice patients, losing the father who loved me hurts more than words can say.

But as reliable as "ole faithful" Hunters words ease my pain and are as the poetry of my life.


I thank GOD AND THE UNIVERSE FOR GIVING BOTH TO SEE ME THROUGH.

May you all be as blessed as I was to have had him and the Boys! I listened to Closing of Winterland as I looked back at the pictures of his life,

LOVE IS REAL AND NOT FADE AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This post was modified by buscameby on 2009-06-19 01:23:59

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Poster: Dhamma1 Date: Jun 18, 2009 5:15pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

Hang in there. Time does eventually heal all wounds, as they say, though I daily felt the loss of my own father for many years. Humans have been passing through this experience for 200,000 years, and you will, too.

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Poster: high flow Date: Jun 18, 2009 5:30pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

You have my deepest condolences.:(

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Poster: Capt. Cook Date: Jun 18, 2009 6:37pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

Lost my Dad as well, though often I find I can see him, in the crook of a smile, the glint of the eye, in the soft motions as I catch myself in the mirror, there he is - in Me!

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Poster: Earl B. Powell Date: Jun 18, 2009 7:00pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

...ain't it the truth. I was a bit of the rebellious sort, my dad and I were in many ways ambivalent about each other. The only thing we could really deeply share was our love of baseball. He took his last breath in my arms and it's funny how all the acrimonious crap between us faded away. I can barely remember the harsh words spoken now, but clearly remember the few genuine moments of caring we had.

Among the spiteful things I said in my younger days to my dad was, "I would never want to be like you." ....And just like you, Cook, every once in a while the sound of his voice comes from my mouth, or he's standing in front of me in the mirror. Or he interrupts at some crucial moment, at the bottom of a deep breath.

Even more odd moments come now that I'm a father, where from time to time I look at my son and he is me, and I am my father. His words and his deeds come tumbling hypocritically out of me without any consideration of my body and my mind belonging to me, for God's sake. At these moments he's almost possessing, if not for my momentary shock allowing me to break the spell. It's not unpleasant or intrusive by any means, just so unexpected. It's almost funny, because these aren't big moments, they're just pleasant little vignettes of shared time with my son.

I've often wondered if anyone else had these moments, it's not deja vu, but something more powerful. Not perplexing, but reassuring in a way. Kind of like the cycle of time and generations will always be maintained in the blood.

Bus, I'm sorry for your loss, but if the things that the good Captain and me are founded in truth, your dad will never leave you alone. He'll be around, mark my words.

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Poster: Capt. Cook Date: Jun 18, 2009 8:30pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

Earl, of course we have conversed across these waves for many moons now and yes connections run through the music and through our lives, which is why our posts are about music, but they say much more, like the music we love.

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Poster: user unknown Date: Jun 18, 2009 5:28pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

Sorry for your loss brother.

ā€œGrief is like the wake behind a boat. It starts out
as a huge wave thatfollows close behind you and is big
enough to swamp and drown you if yousuddenly stop
moving forward.

But if you do keep moving, the big wake will eventually
dissipate. And after a long enough time, the waters
of your life get calm again, and that is when the
memories of those who have left begin to shine as
bright and as enduring as the stars above.ā€

from: A Salty Piece Of Land
by: Jimmy Buffett

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Poster: NorthStarDead Date: Jun 19, 2009 5:39pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

I am sad at the loss of your dad. My thoughts are with you to make it through.
It just sucks

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Poster: cream-puff-war Date: Jun 20, 2009 8:50am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

May I say your father lives on in you.

Sincere condolences.

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Poster: high flow Date: Jun 21, 2009 9:59am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

We love our fathers, where ever they may be today.

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Poster: William Tell Date: Jun 18, 2009 7:34pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

Sorry, BusCB...I know we've missed you here abouts and it's clear now why.

Yep, as others noted, I initially was crushed to see my dad in me, or earlier on, in my oldest brother (at least relative to the aspects I had found lacking). But now, I take it with a great deal more satisfaction and respect, even affection.

Hope you will find all the positives from your recognition and pursuit of the best of him in you...

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Poster: Alf842 Date: Jun 18, 2009 6:22pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

Sorry to hear about your loss. I just spent the evening with my dad who I've been trying to reconnect with slowly through the years. You are correct that the band's lyrics help emensely. I have lost too many good friends in the last two years & without fail the music has been there to soothe my soul.

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Poster: jglynn1.2 Date: Jun 19, 2009 7:24am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

Sorry to hear about your loss, Buscamby

Condolences & Peace!

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Poster: buscameby Date: Jun 19, 2009 8:24am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

THANKS TO EVERYONE!

After a good nights sleep and your warm wishes I feel much better today.

As I said yesterday its so much easier with the Boys lifting my Spirit.

Thanks for the wishes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Poster: bluedevil Date: Jun 19, 2009 8:35am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

Chiming in late. Sorry for your loss.

I just drove my parents to SFO airport yesterday and his dementia is getting worse and worse. I wondered as they went through the gate if he'll even know me next time ... or if I'll see him again.

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Poster: William Tell Date: Jun 19, 2009 2:35pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

Neither of my folks went thru that before passing...it was an experience that drew the siblings together, and though friends and family always express sorrow and regret, etc., it was really an important and life strengthening experience for us because they were both ready, willing and "wanting" (literally) to go...it really was "for the best".

I can only hope I pass with as much dignity.

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Poster: user unknown Date: Jun 19, 2009 2:53pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: FARE YE WELL MY HONEY>>>>>

"I can only hope I pass with as much dignity. "

I think many of us feel the same way.